CHAPTER XI - FINDS PRINT
OF MAN'S FOOT ON THE SAND
IT would have made a Stoic smile to have seen me and my little
family sit down to dinner. There was my majesty the prince and
lord of the whole island; I had the lives of all my subjects at my
absolute command; I could hang, draw, give liberty, and take it
away, and no rebels among all my subjects. Then, to see how like a
king I dined, too, all alone, attended by my servants! Poll, as if
he had been my favourite, was the only person permitted to talk to
me. My dog, who was now grown old and crazy, and had found no
species to multiply his kind upon, sat always at my right hand; and
two cats, one on one side of the table and one on the other,
expecting now and then a bit from my hand, as a mark of especial
favour.
But these were not the two cats which I brought on shore at first,
for they were both of them dead, and had been interred near my
habitation by my own hand; but one of them having multiplied by I
know not what kind of creature, these were two which I had
preserved tame; whereas the rest ran wild in the woods, and became
indeed troublesome to me at last, for they would often come into my
house, and plunder me too, till at last I was obliged to shoot
them, and did kill a great many; at length they left me. With this
attendance and in this plentiful manner I lived; neither could I be
said to want anything but society; and of that, some time after
this, I was likely to have too much.
I was something impatient, as I have observed, to have the use of
my boat, though very loath to run any more hazards; and therefore
sometimes I sat contriving ways to get her about the island, and at
other times I sat myself down contented enough without her. But I
had a strange uneasiness in my mind to go down to the point of the
island where, as I have said in my last ramble, I went up the hill
to see how the shore lay, and how the current set, that I might see
what I had to do: this inclination increased upon me every day, and
at length I resolved to travel thither by land, following the edge
of the shore. I did so; but had any one in England met such a man
as I was, it must either have frightened him, or raised a great
deal of laughter; and as I frequently stood still to look at
myself, I could not but smile at the notion of my travelling
through Yorkshire with such an equipage, and in such a dress. Be
pleased to take a sketch of my figure, as follows.
I had a great high shapeless cap, made of a goat's skin, with a
flap hanging down behind, as well to keep the sun from me as to
shoot the rain off from running into my neck, nothing being so
hurtful in these climates as the rain upon the flesh under the
clothes.
I had a short jacket of goat's skin, the skirts coming down to
about the middle of the thighs, and a pair of open-kneed breeches
of the same; the breeches were made of the skin of an old he-goat,
whose hair hung down such a length on either side that, like
pantaloons, it reached to the middle of my legs; stockings and
shoes I had none, but had made me a pair of somethings, I scarce
knew what to call them, like buskins, to flap over my legs, and
lace on either side like spatterdashes, but of a most barbarous
shape, as indeed were all the rest of my clothes.
I had on a broad belt of goat's skin dried, which I drew together
with two thongs of the same instead of buckles, and in a kind of a
frog on either side of this, instead of a sword and dagger, hung a
little saw and a hatchet, one on one side and one on the other. I
had another belt not so broad, and fastened in the same manner,
which hung over my shoulder, and at the end of it, under my left
arm, hung two pouches, both made of goat's skin too, in one of
which hung my powder, in the other my shot. At my back I carried
my basket, and on my shoulder my gun, and over my head a great
clumsy, ugly, goat's-skin umbrella, but which, after all, was the
most necessary thing I had about me next to my gun. As for my
face, the colour of it was really not so mulatto-like as one might
expect from a man not at all careful of it, and living within nine
or ten degrees of the equinox. My beard I had once suffered to
grow till it was about a quarter of a yard long; but as I had both
scissors and razors sufficient, I had cut it pretty short, except
what grew on my upper lip, which I had trimmed into a large pair of
Mahometan whiskers, such as I had seen worn by some Turks at
Sallee, for the Moors did not wear such, though the Turks did; of
these moustachios, or whiskers, I will not say they were long
enough to hang my hat upon them, but they were of a length and
shape monstrous enough, and such as in England would have passed
for frightful.
But all this is by-the-bye; for as to my figure, I had so few to
observe me that it was of no manner of consequence, so I say no
more of that. In this kind of dress I went my new journey, and was
out five or six days. I travelled first along the sea-shore,
directly to the place where I first brought my boat to an anchor to
get upon the rocks; and having no boat now to take care of, I went
over the land a nearer way to the same height that I was upon
before, when, looking forward to the points of the rocks which lay
out, and which I was obliged to double with my boat, as is said
above, I was surprised to see the sea all smooth and quiet - no
rippling, no motion, no current, any more there than in other
places. I was at a strange loss to understand this, and resolved
to spend some time in the observing it, to see if nothing from the
sets of the tide had occasioned it; but I was presently convinced
how it was - viz. that the tide of ebb setting from the west, and
joining with the current of waters from some great river on the
shore, must be the occasion of this current, and that, according as
the wind blew more forcibly from the west or from the north, this
current came nearer or went farther from the shore; for, waiting
thereabouts till evening, I went up to the rock again, and then the
tide of ebb being made, I plainly saw the current again as before,
only that it ran farther off, being near half a league from the
shore, whereas in my case it set close upon the shore, and hurried
me and my canoe along with it, which at another time it would not
have done.
This observation convinced me that I had nothing to do but to
observe the ebbing and the flowing of the tide, and I might very
easily bring my boat about the island again; but when I began to
think of putting it in practice, I had such terror upon my spirits
at the remembrance of the danger I had been in, that I could not
think of it again with any patience, but, on the contrary, I took
up another resolution, which was more safe, though more laborious -
and this was, that I would build, or rather make, me another
periagua or canoe, and so have one for one side of the island, and
one for the other.
You are to understand that now I had, as I may call it, two
plantations in the island - one my little fortification or tent,
with the wall about it, under the rock, with the cave behind me,
which by this time I had enlarged into several apartments or caves,
one within another. One of these, which was the driest and
largest, and had a door out beyond my wall or fortification - that
is to say, beyond where my wall joined to the rock - was all filled
up with the large earthen pots of which I have given an account,
and with fourteen or fifteen great baskets, which would hold five
or six bushels each, where I laid up my stores of provisions,
especially my corn, some in the ear, cut off short from the straw,
and the other rubbed out with my hand.
As for my wall, made, as before, with long stakes or piles, those
piles grew all like trees, and were by this time grown so big, and
spread so very much, that there was not the least appearance, to
any one's view, of any habitation behind them.
Near this dwelling of mine, but a little farther within the land,
and upon lower ground, lay my two pieces of corn land, which I kept
duly cultivated and sowed, and which duly yielded me their harvest
in its season; and whenever I had occasion for more corn, I had
more land adjoining as fit as that.
Besides this, I had my country seat, and I had now a tolerable
plantation there also; for, first, I had my little bower, as I
called it, which I kept in repair - that is to say, I kept the
hedge which encircled it in constantly fitted up to its usual
height, the ladder standing always in the inside. I kept the
trees, which at first were no more than stakes, but were now grown
very firm and tall, always cut, so that they might spread and grow
thick and wild, and make the more agreeable shade, which they did
effectually to my mind. In the middle of this I had my tent always
standing, being a piece of a sail spread over poles, set up for
that purpose, and which never wanted any repair or renewing; and
under this I had made me a squab or couch with the skins of the
creatures I had killed, and with other soft things, and a blanket
laid on them, such as belonged to our sea-bedding, which I had
saved; and a great watch-coat to cover me. And here, whenever I
had occasion to be absent from my chief seat, I took up my country
habitation.
Adjoining to this I had my enclosures for my cattle, that is to say
my goats, and I had taken an inconceivable deal of pains to fence
and enclose this ground. I was so anxious to see it kept entire,
lest the goats should break through, that I never left off till,
with infinite labour, I had stuck the outside of the hedge so full
of small stakes, and so near to one another, that it was rather a
pale than a hedge, and there was scarce room to put a hand through
between them; which afterwards, when those stakes grew, as they all
did in the next rainy season, made the enclosure strong like a
wall, indeed stronger than any wall.
This will testify for me that I was not idle, and that I spared no
pains to bring to pass whatever appeared necessary for my
comfortable support, for I considered the keeping up a breed of
tame creatures thus at my hand would be a living magazine of flesh,
milk, butter, and cheese for me as long as I lived in the place, if
it were to be forty years; and that keeping them in my reach
depended entirely upon my perfecting my enclosures to such a degree
that I might be sure of keeping them together; which by this
method, indeed, I so effectually secured, that when these little
stakes began to grow, I had planted them so very thick that I was
forced to pull some of them up again.
In this place also I had my grapes growing, which I principally
depended on for my winter store of raisins, and which I never
failed to preserve very carefully, as the best and most agreeable
dainty of my whole diet; and indeed they were not only agreeable,
but medicinal, wholesome, nourishing, and refreshing to the last
degree.
As this was also about half-way between my other habitation and the
place where I had laid up my boat, I generally stayed and lay here
in my way thither, for I used frequently to visit my boat; and I
kept all things about or belonging to her in very good order.
Sometimes I went out in her to divert myself, but no more hazardous
voyages would I go, scarcely ever above a stone's cast or two from
the shore, I was so apprehensive of being hurried out of my
knowledge again by the currents or winds, or any other accident.
But now I come to a new scene of my life. It happened one day,
about noon, going towards my boat, I was exceedingly surprised with
the print of a man's naked foot on the shore, which was very plain
to be seen on the sand. I stood like one thunderstruck, or as if I
had seen an apparition. I listened, I looked round me, but I could
hear nothing, nor see anything; I went up to a rising ground to
look farther; I went up the shore and down the shore, but it was
all one; I could see no other impression but that one. I went to
it again to see if there were any more, and to observe if it might
not be my fancy; but there was no room for that, for there was
exactly the print of a foot - toes, heel, and every part of a foot.
How it came thither I knew not, nor could I in the least imagine;
but after innumerable fluttering thoughts, like a man perfectly
confused and out of myself, I came home to my fortification, not
feeling, as we say, the ground I went on, but terrified to the last
degree, looking behind me at every two or three steps, mistaking
every bush and tree, and fancying every stump at a distance to be a
man. Nor is it possible to describe how many various shapes my
affrighted imagination represented things to me in, how many wild
ideas were found every moment in my fancy, and what strange,
unaccountable whimsies came into my thoughts by the way.
When I came to my castle (for so I think I called it ever after
this), I fled into it like one pursued. Whether I went over by the
ladder, as first contrived, or went in at the hole in the rock,
which I had called a door, I cannot remember; no, nor could I
remember the next morning, for never frightened hare fled to cover,
or fox to earth, with more terror of mind than I to this retreat.
I slept none that night; the farther I was from the occasion of my
fright, the greater my apprehensions were, which is something
contrary to the nature of such things, and especially to the usual
practice of all creatures in fear; but I was so embarrassed with my
own frightful ideas of the thing, that I formed nothing but dismal
imaginations to myself, even though I was now a great way off.
Sometimes I fancied it must be the devil, and reason joined in with
me in this supposition, for how should any other thing in human
shape come into the place? Where was the vessel that brought them?
What marks were there of any other footstep? And how was it
possible a man should come there? But then, to think that Satan
should take human shape upon him in such a place, where there could
be no manner of occasion for it, but to leave the print of his foot
behind him, and that even for no purpose too, for he could not be
sure I should see it - this was an amusement the other way. I
considered that the devil might have found out abundance of other
ways to have terrified me than this of the single print of a foot;
that as I lived quite on the other side of the island, he would
never have been so simple as to leave a mark in a place where it
was ten thousand to one whether I should ever see it or not, and in
the sand too, which the first surge of the sea, upon a high wind,
would have defaced entirely. All this seemed inconsistent with the
thing itself and with all the notions we usually entertain of the
subtlety of the devil.
Abundance of such things as these assisted to argue me out of all
apprehensions of its being the devil; and I presently concluded
then that it must be some more dangerous creature - viz. that it
must be some of the savages of the mainland opposite who had
wandered out to sea in their canoes, and either driven by the
currents or by contrary winds, had made the island, and had been on
shore, but were gone away again to sea; being as loath, perhaps, to
have stayed in this desolate island as I would have been to have
had them.
While these reflections were rolling in my mind, I was very
thankful in my thoughts that I was so happy as not to be
thereabouts at that time, or that they did not see my boat, by
which they would have concluded that some inhabitants had been in
the place, and perhaps have searched farther for me. Then terrible
thoughts racked my imagination about their having found out my
boat, and that there were people here; and that, if so, I should
certainly have them come again in greater numbers and devour me;
that if it should happen that they should not find me, yet they
would find my enclosure, destroy all my corn, and carry away all my
flock of tame goats, and I should perish at last for mere want.
Thus my fear banished all my religious hope, all that former
confidence in God, which was founded upon such wonderful experience
as I had had of His goodness; as if He that had fed me by miracle
hitherto could not preserve, by His power, the provision which He
had made for me by His goodness. I reproached myself with my
laziness, that would not sow any more corn one year than would just
serve me till the next season, as if no accident could intervene to
prevent my enjoying the crop that was upon the ground; and this I
thought so just a reproof, that I resolved for the future to have
two or three years' corn beforehand; so that, whatever might come,
I might not perish for want of bread.
How strange a chequer-work of Providence is the life of man! and by
what secret different springs are the affections hurried about, as
different circumstances present! To-day we love what to-morrow we
hate; to-day we seek what to-morrow we shun; to-day we desire what
to-morrow we fear, nay, even tremble at the apprehensions of. This
was exemplified in me, at this time, in the most lively manner
imaginable; for I, whose only affliction was that I seemed banished
from human society, that I was alone, circumscribed by the
boundless ocean, cut off from mankind, and condemned to what I call
silent life; that I was as one whom Heaven thought not worthy to be
numbered among the living, or to appear among the rest of His
creatures; that to have seen one of my own species would have
seemed to me a raising me from death to life, and the greatest
blessing that Heaven itself, next to the supreme blessing of
salvation, could bestow; I say, that I should now tremble at the
very apprehensions of seeing a man, and was ready to sink into the
ground at but the shadow or silent appearance of a man having set
his foot in the island.
Such is the uneven state of human life; and it afforded me a great
many curious speculations afterwards, when I had a little recovered
my first surprise. I considered that this was the station of life
the infinitely wise and good providence of God had determined for
me; that as I could not foresee what the ends of Divine wisdom
might be in all this, so I was not to dispute His sovereignty; who,
as I was His creature, had an undoubted right, by creation, to
govern and dispose of me absolutely as He thought fit; and who, as
I was a creature that had offended Him, had likewise a judicial
right to condemn me to what punishment He thought fit; and that it
was my part to submit to bear His indignation, because I had sinned
against Him. I then reflected, that as God, who was not only
righteous but omnipotent, had thought fit thus to punish and
afflict me, so He was able to deliver me: that if He did not think
fit to do so, it was my unquestioned duty to resign myself
absolutely and entirely to His will; and, on the other hand, it was
my duty also to hope in Him, pray to Him, and quietly to attend to
the dictates and directions of His daily providence,
These thoughts took me up many hours, days, nay, I may say weeks
and months: and one particular effect of my cogitations on this
occasion I cannot omit. One morning early, lying in my bed, and
filled with thoughts about my danger from the appearances of
savages, I found it discomposed me very much; upon which these
words of the Scripture came into my thoughts, "Call upon Me in
the
day of trouble, and I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify
Me." Upon this, rising cheerfully out of my bed, my heart was not
only comforted, but I was guided and encouraged to pray earnestly
to God for deliverance: when I had done praying I took up my Bible,
and opening it to read, the first words that presented to me were,
"Wait on the Lord, and be of good cheer, and He shall strengthen
thy heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." It is impossible to express
the comfort this gave me. In answer, I thankfully laid down the
book, and was no more sad, at least on that occasion.
In the middle of these cogitations, apprehensions, and reflections,
it came into my thoughts one day that all this might be a mere
chimera of my own, and that this foot might be the print of my own
foot, when I came on shore from my boat: this cheered me up a
little, too, and I began to persuade myself it was all a delusion;
that it was nothing else but my own foot; and why might I not come
that way from the boat, as well as I was going that way to the
boat? Again, I considered also that I could by no means tell for
certain where I had trod, and where I had not; and that if, at
last, this was only the print of my own foot, I had played the part
of those fools who try to make stories of spectres and apparitions,
and then are frightened at them more than anybody.
Now I began to take courage, and to peep abroad again, for I had
not stirred out of my castle for three days and nights, so that I
began to starve for provisions; for I had little or nothing within
doors but some barley-cakes and water; then I knew that my goats
wanted to be milked too, which usually was my evening diversion:
and the poor creatures were in great pain and inconvenience for
want of it; and, indeed, it almost spoiled some of them, and almost
dried up their milk. Encouraging myself, therefore, with the
belief that this was nothing but the print of one of my own feet,
and that I might be truly said to start at my own shadow, I began
to go abroad again, and went to my country house to milk my flock:
but to see with what fear I went forward, how often I looked behind
me, how I was ready every now and then to lay down my basket and
run for my life, it would have made any one have thought I was
haunted with an evil conscience, or that I had been lately most
terribly frightened; and so, indeed, I had. However, I went down
thus two or three days, and having seen nothing, I began to be a
little bolder, and to think there was really nothing in it but my
own imagination; but I could not persuade myself fully of this till
I should go down to the shore again, and see this print of a foot,
and measure it by my own, and see if there was any similitude or
fitness, that I might be assured it was my own foot: but when I
came to the place, first, it appeared evidently to me, that when I
laid up my boat I could not possibly be on shore anywhere
thereabouts; secondly, when I came to measure the mark with my own
foot, I found my foot not so large by a great deal. Both these
things filled my head with new imaginations, and gave me the
vapours again to the highest degree, so that I shook with cold like
one in an ague; and I went home again, filled with the belief that
some man or men had been on shore there; or, in short, that the
island was inhabited, and I might be surprised before I was aware;
and what course to take for my security I knew not.
Oh, what ridiculous resolutions men take when possessed with fear!
It deprives them of the use of those means which reason offers for
their relief. The first thing I proposed to myself was, to throw
down my enclosures, and turn all my tame cattle wild into the
woods, lest the enemy should find them, and then frequent the
island in prospect of the same or the like booty: then the simple
thing of digging up my two corn-fields, lest they should find such
a grain there, and still be prompted to frequent the island: then
to demolish my bower and tent, that they might not see any vestiges
of habitation, and be prompted to look farther, in order to find
out the persons inhabiting.
These were the subject of the first night's cogitations after I was
come home again, while the apprehensions which had so overrun my
mind were fresh upon me, and my head was full of vapours. Thus,
fear of danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than danger
itself, when apparent to the eyes; and we find the burden of
anxiety greater, by much, than the evil which we are anxious about:
and what was worse than all this, I had not that relief in this
trouble that from the resignation I used to practise I hoped to
have. I looked, I thought, like Saul, who complained not only that
the Philistines were upon him, but that God had forsaken him; for I
did not now take due ways to compose my mind, by crying to God in
my distress, and resting upon His providence, as I had done before,
for my defence and deliverance; which, if I had done, I had at
least been more cheerfully supported under this new surprise, and
perhaps carried through it with more resolution.
This confusion of my thoughts kept me awake all night; but in the
morning I fell asleep; and having, by the amusement of my mind,
been as it were tired, and my spirits exhausted, I slept very
soundly, and waked much better composed than I had ever been
before. And now I began to think sedately; and, upon debate with
myself, I concluded that this island (which was so exceedingly
pleasant, fruitful, and no farther from the mainland than as I had
seen) was not so entirely abandoned as I might imagine; that
although there were no stated inhabitants who lived on the spot,
yet that there might sometimes come boats off from the shore, who,
either with design, or perhaps never but when they were driven by
cross winds, might come to this place; that I had lived there
fifteen years now and had not met with the least shadow or figure
of any people yet; and that, if at any time they should be driven
here, it was probable they went away again as soon as ever they
could, seeing they had never thought fit to fix here upon any
occasion; that the most I could suggest any danger from was from
any casual accidental landing of straggling people from the main,
who, as it was likely, if they were driven hither, were here
against their wills, so they made no stay here, but went off again
with all possible speed; seldom staying one night on shore, lest
they should not have the help of the tides and daylight back again;
and that, therefore, I had nothing to do but to consider of some
safe retreat, in case I should see any savages land upon the spot.
Now, I began sorely to repent that I had dug my cave so large as to
bring a door through again, which door, as I said, came out beyond
where my fortification joined to the rock: upon maturely
considering this, therefore, I resolved to draw me a second
fortification, in the manner of a semicircle, at a distance from my
wall, just where I had planted a double row of trees about twelve
years before, of which I made mention: these trees having been
planted so thick before, they wanted but few piles to be driven
between them, that they might be thicker and stronger, and my wall
would be soon finished. So that I had now a double wall; and my
outer wall was thickened with pieces of timber, old cables, and
everything I could think of, to make it strong; having in it seven
little holes, about as big as I might put my arm out at. In the
inside of this I thickened my wall to about ten feet thick with
continually bringing earth out of my cave, and laying it at the
foot of the wall, and walking upon it; and through the seven holes
I contrived to plant the muskets, of which I took notice that I had
got seven on shore out of the ship; these I planted like my cannon,
and fitted them into frames, that held them like a carriage, so
that I could fire all the seven guns in two minutes' time; this
wall I was many a weary month in finishing, and yet never thought
myself safe till it was done.
When this was done I stuck all the ground without my wall, for a
great length every way, as full with stakes or sticks of the osier-
like wood, which I found so apt to grow, as they could well stand;
insomuch that I believe I might set in near twenty thousand of
them, leaving a pretty large space between them and my wall, that I
might have room to see an enemy, and they might have no shelter
from the young trees, if they attempted to approach my outer wall.
Thus in two years' time I had a thick grove; and in five or six
years' time I had a wood before my dwelling, growing so monstrously
thick and strong that it was indeed perfectly impassable: and no
men, of what kind soever, could ever imagine that there was
anything beyond it, much less a habitation. As for the way which I
proposed to myself to go in and out (for I left no avenue), it was
by setting two ladders, one to a part of the rock which was low,
and then broke in, and left room to place another ladder upon that;
so when the two ladders were taken down no man living could come
down to me without doing himself mischief; and if they had come
down, they were still on the outside of my outer wall.
Thus I took all the measures human prudence could suggest for my
own preservation; and it will be seen at length that they were not
altogether without just reason; though I foresaw nothing at that
time more than my mere fear suggested to me.
CHAPTER XII - A CAVE RETREAT
WHILE this was doing, I was not altogether careless of my other
affairs; for I had a great concern upon me for my little herd of
goats: they were not only a ready supply to me on every occasion,
and began to be sufficient for me, without the expense of powder
and shot, but also without the fatigue of hunting after the wild
ones; and I was loath to lose the advantage of them, and to have
them all to nurse up over again.
For this purpose, after long consideration, I could think of but
two ways to preserve them: one was, to find another convenient
place to dig a cave underground, and to drive them into it every
night; and the other was to enclose two or three little bits of
land, remote from one another, and as much concealed as I could,
where I might keep about half-a-dozen young goats in each place; so
that if any disaster happened to the flock in general, I might be
able to raise them again with little trouble and time: and this
though it would require a good deal of time and labour, I thought
was the most rational design.
Accordingly, I spent some time to find out the most retired parts
of the island; and I pitched upon one, which was as private,
indeed, as my heart could wish: it was a little damp piece of
ground in the middle of the hollow and thick woods, where, as is
observed, I almost lost myself once before, endeavouring to come
back that way from the eastern part of the island. Here I found a
clear piece of land, near three acres, so surrounded with woods
that it was almost an enclosure by nature; at least, it did not
want near so much labour to make it so as the other piece of ground
I had worked so hard at.
I immediately went to work with this piece of ground; and in less
than a month's time I had so fenced it round that my flock, or
herd, call it which you please, which were not so wild now as at
first they might be supposed to be, were well enough secured in it:
so, without any further delay, I removed ten young she-goats and
two he-goats to this piece, and when they were there I continued to
perfect the fence till I had made it as secure as the other; which,
however, I did at more leisure, and it took me up more time by a
great deal. All this labour I was at the expense of, purely from
my apprehensions on account of the print of a man's foot; for as
yet I had never seen any human creature come near the island; and I
had now lived two years under this uneasiness, which, indeed, made
my life much less comfortable than it was before, as may be well
imagined by any who know what it is to live in the constant snare
of the fear of man. And this I must observe, with grief, too, that
the discomposure of my mind had great impression also upon the
religious part of my thoughts; for the dread and terror of falling
into the hands of savages and cannibals lay so upon my spirits,
that I seldom found myself in a due temper for application to my
Maker; at least, not with the sedate calmness and resignation of
soul which I was wont to do: I rather prayed to God as under great
affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded with danger, and in
expectation every night of being murdered and devoured before
morning; and I must testify, from my experience, that a temper of
peace, thankfulness, love, and affection, is much the more proper
frame for prayer than that of terror and discomposure: and that
under the dread of mischief impending, a man is no more fit for a
comforting performance of the duty of praying to God than he is for
a repentance on a sick-bed; for these discomposures affect the
mind, as the others do the body; and the discomposure of the mind
must necessarily be as great a disability as that of the body, and
much greater; praying to God being properly an act of the mind, not
of the body.
But to go on. After I had thus secured one part of my little
living stock, I went about the whole island, searching for another
private place to make such another deposit; when, wandering more to
the west point of the island than I had ever done yet, and looking
out to sea, I thought I saw a boat upon the sea, at a great
distance. I had found a perspective glass or two in one of the
seamen's chests, which I saved out of our ship, but I had it not
about me; and this was so remote that I could not tell what to make
of it, though I looked at it till my eyes were not able to hold to
look any longer; whether it was a boat or not I do not know, but as
I descended from the hill I could see no more of it, so I gave it
over; only I resolved to go no more out without a perspective glass
in my pocket. When I was come down the hill to the end of the
island, where, indeed, I had never been before, I was presently
convinced that the seeing the print of a man's foot was not such a
strange thing in the island as I imagined: and but that it was a
special providence that I was cast upon the side of the island
where the savages never came, I should easily have known that
nothing was more frequent than for the canoes from the main, when
they happened to be a little too far out at sea, to shoot over to
that side of the island for harbour: likewise, as they often met
and fought in their canoes, the victors, having taken any
prisoners, would bring them over to this shore, where, according to
their dreadful customs, being all cannibals, they would kill and
eat them; of which hereafter.
When I was come down the hill to the shore, as I said above, being
the SW. point of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed;
nor is it possible for me to express the horror of my mind at
seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet, and other bones
of human bodies; and particularly I observed a place where there
had been a fire made, and a circle dug in the earth, like a
cockpit, where I supposed the savage wretches had sat down to their
human feastings upon the bodies of their fellow-creatures.
I was so astonished with the sight of these things, that I
entertained no notions of any danger to myself from it for a long
while: all my apprehensions were buried in the thoughts of such a
pitch of inhuman, hellish brutality, and the horror of the
degeneracy of human nature, which, though I had heard of it often,
yet I never had so near a view of before; in short, I turned away
my face from the horrid spectacle; my stomach grew sick, and I was
just at the point of fainting, when nature discharged the disorder
from my stomach; and having vomited with uncommon violence, I was a
little relieved, but could not bear to stay in the place a moment;
so I got up the hill again with all the speed I could, and walked
on towards my own habitation.
When I came a little out of that part of the island I stood still
awhile, as amazed, and then, recovering myself, I looked up with
the utmost affection of my soul, and, with a flood of tears in my
eyes, gave God thanks, that had cast my first lot in a part of the
world where I was distinguished from such dreadful creatures as
these; and that, though I had esteemed my present condition very
miserable, had yet given me so many comforts in it that I had still
more to give thanks for than to complain of: and this, above all,
that I had, even in this miserable condition, been comforted with
the knowledge of Himself, and the hope of His blessing: which was a
felicity more than sufficiently equivalent to all the misery which
I had suffered, or could suffer.
In this frame of thankfulness I went home to my castle, and began
to be much easier now, as to the safety of my circumstances, than
ever I was before: for I observed that these wretches never came to
this island in search of what they could get; perhaps not seeking,
not wanting, or not expecting anything here; and having often, no
doubt, been up the covered, woody part of it without finding
anything to their purpose. I knew I had been here now almost
eighteen years, and never saw the least footsteps of human creature
there before; and I might be eighteen years more as entirely
concealed as I was now, if I did not discover myself to them, which
I had no manner of occasion to do; it being my only business to
keep myself entirely concealed where I was, unless I found a better
sort of creatures than cannibals to make myself known to. Yet I
entertained such an abhorrence of the savage wretches that I have
been speaking of, and of the wretched, inhuman custom of their
devouring and eating one another up, that I continued pensive and
sad, and kept close within my own circle for almost two years after
this: when I say my own circle, I mean by it my three plantations -
viz. my castle, my country seat (which I called my bower), and my
enclosure in the woods: nor did I look after this for any other use
than an enclosure for my goats; for the aversion which nature gave
me to these hellish wretches was such, that I was as fearful of
seeing them as of seeing the devil himself. I did not so much as
go to look after my boat all this time, but began rather to think
of making another; for I could not think of ever making any more
attempts to bring the other boat round the island to me, lest I
should meet with some of these creatures at sea; in which case, if
I had happened to have fallen into their hands, I knew what would
have been my lot.
Time, however, and the satisfaction I had that I was in no danger
of being discovered by these people, began to wear off my
uneasiness about them; and I began to live just in the same
composed manner as before, only with this difference, that I used
more caution, and kept my eyes more about me than I did before,
lest I should happen to be seen by any of them; and particularly, I
was more cautious of firing my gun, lest any of them, being on the
island, should happen to hear it. It was, therefore, a very good
providence to me that I had furnished myself with a tame breed of
goats, and that I had no need to hunt any more about the woods, or
shoot at them; and if I did catch any of them after this, it was by
traps and snares, as I had done before; so that for two years after
this I believe I never fired my gun once off, though I never went
out without it; and what was more, as I had saved three pistols out
of the ship, I always carried them out with me, or at least two of
them, sticking them in my goat-skin belt. I also furbished up one
of the great cutlasses that I had out of the ship, and made me a
belt to hang it on also; so that I was now a most formidable fellow
to look at when I went abroad, if you add to the former description
of myself the particular of two pistols, and a broadsword hanging
at my side in a belt, but without a scabbard.
Things going on thus, as I have said, for some time, I seemed,
excepting these cautions, to be reduced to my former calm, sedate
way of living. All these things tended to show me more and more
how far my condition was from being miserable, compared to some
others; nay, to many other particulars of life which it might have
pleased God to have made my lot. It put me upon reflecting how
little repining there would be among mankind at any condition of
life if people would rather compare their condition with those that
were worse, in order to be thankful, than be always comparing them
with those which are better, to assist their murmurings and
complainings.
As in my present condition there were not really many things which
I wanted, so indeed I thought that the frights I had been in about
these savage wretches, and the concern I had been in for my own
preservation, had taken off the edge of my invention, for my own
conveniences; and I had dropped a good design, which I had once
bent my thoughts upon, and that was to try if I could not make some
of my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer.
This was really a whimsical thought, and I reproved myself often
for the simplicity of it: for I presently saw there would be the
want of several things necessary to the making my beer that it
would be impossible for me to supply; as, first, casks to preserve
it in, which was a thing that, as I have observed already, I could
never compass: no, though I spent not only many days, but weeks,
nay months, in attempting it, but to no purpose. In the next
place, I had no hops to make it keep, no yeast to made it work, no
copper or kettle to make it boil; and yet with all these things
wanting, I verily believe, had not the frights and terrors I was in
about the savages intervened, I had undertaken it, and perhaps
brought it to pass too; for I seldom gave anything over without
accomplishing it, when once I had it in my head to began it. But
my invention now ran quite another way; for night and day I could
think of nothing but how I might destroy some of the monsters in
their cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible save the victim
they should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger
volume than this whole work is intended to be to set down all the
contrivances I hatched, or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts, for
the destroying these creatures, or at least frightening them so as
to prevent their coming hither any more: but all this was abortive;
nothing could be possible to take effect, unless I was to be there
to do it myself: and what could one man do among them, when perhaps
there might be twenty or thirty of them together with their darts,
or their bows and arrows, with which they could shoot as true to a
mark as I could with my gun?
Sometimes I thought if digging a hole under the place where they
made their fire, and putting in five or six pounds of gunpowder,
which, when they kindled their fire, would consequently take fire,
and blow up all that was near it: but as, in the first place, I
should be unwilling to waste so much powder upon them, my store
being now within the quantity of one barrel, so neither could I be
sure of its going off at any certain time, when it might surprise
them; and, at best, that it would do little more than just blow the
fire about their ears and fright them, but not sufficient to make
them forsake the place: so I laid it aside; and then proposed that
I would place myself in ambush in some convenient place, with my
three guns all double-loaded, and in the middle of their bloody
ceremony let fly at them, when I should be sure to kill or wound
perhaps two or three at every shot; and then falling in upon them
with my three pistols and my sword, I made no doubt but that, if
there were twenty, I should kill them all. This fancy pleased my
thoughts for some weeks, and I was so full of it that I often
dreamed of it, and, sometimes, that I was just going to let fly at
them in my sleep. I went so far with it in my imagination that I
employed myself several days to find out proper places to put
myself in ambuscade, as I said, to watch for them, and I went
frequently to the place itself, which was now grown more familiar
to me; but while my mind was thus filled with thoughts of revenge
and a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them to the sword, as I
may call it, the horror I had at the place, and at the signals of
the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abetted my malice.
Well, at length I found a place in the side of the hill where I was
satisfied I might securely wait till I saw any of their boats
coming; and might then, even before they would be ready to come on
shore, convey myself unseen into some thickets of trees, in one of
which there was a hollow large enough to conceal me entirely; and
there I might sit and observe all their bloody doings, and take my
full aim at their heads, when they were so close together as that
it would be next to impossible that I should miss my shot, or that
I could fail wounding three or four of them at the first shot. In
this place, then, I resolved to fulfil my design; and accordingly I
prepared two muskets and my ordinary fowling-piece. The two
muskets I loaded with a brace of slugs each, and four or five
smaller bullets, about the size of pistol bullets; and the fowling-
piece I loaded with near a handful of swan-shot of the largest
size; I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets each; and,
in this posture, well provided with ammunition for a second and
third charge, I prepared myself for my expedition.
After I had thus laid the scheme of my design, and in my
imagination put it in practice, I continually made my tour every
morning to the top of the hill, which was from my castle, as I
called it, about three miles or more, to see if I could observe any
boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or standing over
towards it; but I began to tire of this hard duty, after I had for
two or three months constantly kept my watch, but came always back
without any discovery; there having not, in all that time, been the
least appearance, not only on or near the shore, but on the whole
ocean, so far as my eye or glass could reach every way.
As long as I kept my daily tour to the hill, to look out, so long
also I kept up the vigour of my design, and my spirits seemed to be
all the while in a suitable frame for so outrageous an execution as
the killing twenty or thirty naked savages, for an offence which I
had not at all entered into any discussion of in my thoughts, any
farther than my passions were at first fired by the horror I
conceived at the unnatural custom of the people of that country,
who, it seems, had been suffered by Providence, in His wise
disposition of the world, to have no other guide than that of their
own abominable and vitiated passions; and consequently were left,
and perhaps had been so for some ages, to act such horrid things,
and receive such dreadful customs, as nothing but nature, entirely
abandoned by Heaven, and actuated by some hellish degeneracy, could
have run them into. But now, when, as I have said, I began to be
weary of the fruitless excursion which I had made so long and so
far every morning in vain, so my opinion of the action itself began
to alter; and I began, with cooler and calmer thoughts, to consider
what I was going to engage in; what authority or call I had to
pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men as criminals,
whom Heaven had thought fit for so many ages to suffer unpunished
to go on, and to be as it were the executioners of His judgments
one upon another; how far these people were offenders against me,
and what right I had to engage in the quarrel of that blood which
they shed promiscuously upon one another. I debated this very
often with myself thus: "How do I know what God Himself judges
in
this particular case? It is certain these people do not commit
this as a crime; it is not against their own consciences reproving,
or their light reproaching them; they do not know it to be an
offence, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice, as we do
in almost all the sins we commit. They think it no more a crime to
kill a captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox; or to eat
human flesh than we do to eat mutton."
When I considered this a little, it followed necessarily that I was
certainly in the wrong; that these people were not murderers, in
the sense that I had before condemned them in my thoughts, any more
than those Christians were murderers who often put to death the
prisoners taken in battle; or more frequently, upon many occasions,
put whole troops of men to the sword, without giving quarter,
though they threw down their arms and submitted. In the next
place, it occurred to me that although the usage they gave one
another was thus brutish and inhuman, yet it was really nothing to
me: these people had done me no injury: that if they attempted, or
I saw it necessary, for my immediate preservation, to fall upon
them, something might be said for it: but that I was yet out of
their power, and they really had no knowledge of me, and
consequently no design upon me; and therefore it could not be just
for me to fall upon them; that this would justify the conduct of
the Spaniards in all their barbarities practised in America, where
they destroyed millions of these people; who, however they were
idolators and barbarians, and had several bloody and barbarous
rites in their customs, such as sacrificing human bodies to their
idols, were yet, as to the Spaniards, very innocent people; and
that the rooting them out of the country is spoken of with the
utmost abhorrence and detestation by even the Spaniards themselves
at this time, and by all other Christian nations of Europe, as a
mere butchery, a bloody and unnatural piece of cruelty,
unjustifiable either to God or man; and for which the very name of
a Spaniard is reckoned to be frightful and terrible, to all people
of humanity or of Christian compassion; as if the kingdom of Spain
were particularly eminent for the produce of a race of men who were
without principles of tenderness, or the common bowels of pity to
the miserable, which is reckoned to be a mark of generous temper in
the mind.
These considerations really put me to a pause, and to a kind of a
full stop; and I began by little and little to be off my design,
and to conclude I had taken wrong measures in my resolution to
attack the savages; and that it was not my business to meddle with
them, unless they first attacked me; and this it was my business,
if possible, to prevent: but that, if I were discovered and
attacked by them, I knew my duty. On the other hand, I argued with
myself that this really was the way not to deliver myself, but
entirely to ruin and destroy myself; for unless I was sure to kill
every one that not only should be on shore at that time, but that
should ever come on shore afterwards, if but one of them escaped to
tell their country-people what had happened, they would come over
again by thousands to revenge the death of their fellows, and I
should only bring upon myself a certain destruction, which, at
present, I had no manner of occasion for. Upon the whole, I
concluded that I ought, neither in principle nor in policy, one way
or other, to concern myself in this affair: that my business was,
by all possible means to conceal myself from them, and not to leave
the least sign for them to guess by that there were any living
creatures upon the island - I mean of human shape. Religion joined
in with this prudential resolution; and I was convinced now, many
ways, that I was perfectly out of my duty when I was laying all my
bloody schemes for the destruction of innocent creatures - I mean
innocent as to me. As to the crimes they were guilty of towards
one another, I had nothing to do with them; they were national, and
I ought to leave them to the justice of God, who is the Governor of
nations, and knows how, by national punishments, to make a just
retribution for national offences, and to bring public judgments
upon those who offend in a public manner, by such ways as best
please Him. This appeared so clear to me now, that nothing was a
greater satisfaction to me than that I had not been suffered to do
a thing which I now saw so much reason to believe would have been
no less a sin than that of wilful murder if I had committed it; and
I gave most humble thanks on my knees to God, that He had thus
delivered me from blood-guiltiness; beseeching Him to grant me the
protection of His providence, that I might not fall into the hands
of the barbarians, or that I might not lay my hands upon them,
unless I had a more clear call from Heaven to do it, in defence of
my own life.
In this disposition I continued for near a year after this; and so
far was I from desiring an occasion for falling upon these
wretches, that in all that time I never once went up the hill to
see whether there were any of them in sight, or to know whether any
of them had been on shore there or not, that I might not be tempted
to renew any of my contrivances against them, or be provoked by any
advantage that might present itself to fall upon them; only this I
did: I went and removed my boat, which I had on the other side of
the island, and carried it down to the east end of the whole
island, where I ran it into a little cove, which I found under some
high rocks, and where I knew, by reason of the currents, the
savages durst not, at least would not, come with their boats upon
any account whatever. With my boat I carried away everything that
I had left there belonging to her, though not necessary for the
bare going thither - viz. a mast and sail which I had made for her,
and a thing like an anchor, but which, indeed, could not be called
either anchor or grapnel; however, it was the best I could make of
its kind: all these I removed, that there might not be the least
shadow for discovery, or appearance of any boat, or of any human
habitation upon the island. Besides this, I kept myself, as I
said, more retired than ever, and seldom went from my cell except
upon my constant employment, to milk my she-goats, and manage my
little flock in the wood, which, as it was quite on the other part
of the island, was out of danger; for certain, it is that these
savage people, who sometimes haunted this island, never came with
any thoughts of finding anything here, and consequently never
wandered off from the coast, and I doubt not but they might have
been several times on shore after my apprehensions of them had made
me cautious, as well as before. Indeed, I looked back with some
horror upon the thoughts of what my condition would have been if I
had chopped upon them and been discovered before that; when, naked
and unarmed, except with one gun, and that loaded often only with
small shot, I walked everywhere, peeping and peering about the
island, to see what I could get; what a surprise should I have been
in if, when I discovered the print of a man's foot, I had, instead
of that, seen fifteen or twenty savages, and found them pursuing
me, and by the swiftness of their running no possibility of my
escaping them! The thoughts of this sometimes sank my very soul
within me, and distressed my mind so much that I could not soon
recover it, to think what I should have done, and how I should not
only have been unable to resist them, but even should not have had
presence of mind enough to do what I might have done; much less
what now, after so much consideration and preparation, I might be
able to do. Indeed, after serious thinking of these things, I
would be melancholy, and sometimes it would last a great while; but
I resolved it all at last into thankfulness to that Providence
which had delivered me from so many unseen dangers, and had kept me
from those mischiefs which I could have no way been the agent in
delivering myself from, because I had not the least notion of any
such thing depending, or the least supposition of its being
possible. This renewed a contemplation which often had come into
my thoughts in former times, when first I began to see the merciful
dispositions of Heaven, in the dangers we run through in this life;
how wonderfully we are delivered when we know nothing of it; how,
when we are in a quandary as we call it, a doubt or hesitation
whether to go this way or that way, a secret hint shall direct us
this way, when we intended to go that way: nay, when sense, our own
inclination, and perhaps business has called us to go the other
way, yet a strange impression upon the mind, from we know not what
springs, and by we know not what power, shall overrule us to go
this way; and it shall afterwards appear that had we gone that way,
which we should have gone, and even to our imagination ought to
have gone, we should have been ruined and lost. Upon these and
many like reflections I afterwards made it a certain rule with me,
that whenever I found those secret hints or pressings of mind to
doing or not doing anything that presented, or going this way or
that way, I never failed to obey the secret dictate; though I knew
no other reason for it than such a pressure or such a hint hung
upon my mind. I could give many examples of the success of this
conduct in the course of my life, but more especially in the latter
part of my inhabiting this unhappy island; besides many occasions
which it is very likely I might have taken notice of, if I had seen
with the same eyes then that I see with now. But it is never too
late to be wise; and I cannot but advise all considering men, whose
lives are attended with such extraordinary incidents as mine, or
even though not so extraordinary, not to slight such secret
intimations of Providence, let them come from what invisible
intelligence they will. That I shall not discuss, and perhaps
cannot account for; but certainly they are a proof of the converse
of spirits, and a secret communication between those embodied and
those unembodied, and such a proof as can never be withstood; of
which I shall have occasion to give some remarkable instances in
the remainder of my solitary residence in this dismal place.
I believe the reader of this will not think it strange if I confess
that these anxieties, these constant dangers I lived in, and the
concern that was now upon me, put an end to all invention, and to
all the contrivances that I had laid for my future accommodations
and conveniences. I had the care of my safety more now upon my
hands than that of my food. I cared not to drive a nail, or chop a
stick of wood now, for fear the noise I might make should be heard:
much less would I fire a gun for the same reason: and above all I
was intolerably uneasy at making any fire, lest the smoke, which is
visible at a great distance in the day, should betray me. For this
reason, I removed that part of my business which required fire,
such as burning of pots and pipes, &c., into my new apartment in
the woods; where, after I had been some time, I found, to my
unspeakable consolation, a mere natural cave in the earth, which
went in a vast way, and where, I daresay, no savage, had he been at
the mouth of it, would be so hardy as to venture in; nor, indeed,
would any man else, but one who, like me, wanted nothing so much as
a safe retreat.
The mouth of this hollow was at the bottom of a great rock, where,
by mere accident (I would say, if I did not see abundant reason to
ascribe all such things now to Providence), I was cutting down some
thick branches of trees to make charcoal; and before I go on I must
observe the reason of my making this charcoal, which was this - I
was afraid of making a smoke about my habitation, as I said before;
and yet I could not live there without baking my bread, cooking my
meat, &c.; so I contrived to burn some wood here, as I had seen
done in England, under turf, till it became chark or dry coal: and
then putting the fire out, I preserved the coal to carry home, and
perform the other services for which fire was wanting, without
danger of smoke. But this is by-the-bye. While I was cutting down
some wood here, I perceived that, behind a very thick branch of low
brushwood or underwood, there was a kind of hollow place: I was
curious to look in it; and getting with difficulty into the mouth
of it, I found it was pretty large, that is to say, sufficient for
me to stand upright in it, and perhaps another with me: but I must
confess to you that I made more haste out than I did in, when
looking farther into the place, and which was perfectly dark, I saw
two broad shining eyes of some creature, whether devil or man I
knew not, which twinkled like two stars; the dim light from the
cave's mouth shining directly in, and making the reflection.
However, after some pause I recovered myself, and began to call
myself a thousand fools, and to think that he that was afraid to
see the devil was not fit to live twenty years in an island all
alone; and that I might well think there was nothing in this cave
that was more frightful than myself. Upon this, plucking up my
courage, I took up a firebrand, and in I rushed again, with the
stick flaming in my hand: I had not gone three steps in before I
was almost as frightened as before; for I heard a very loud sigh,
like that of a man in some pain, and it was followed by a broken
noise, as of words half expressed, and then a deep sigh again. I
stepped back, and was indeed struck with such a surprise that it
put me into a cold sweat, and if I had had a hat on my head, I will
not answer for it that my hair might not have lifted it off. But
still plucking up my spirits as well as I could, and encouraging
myself a little with considering that the power and presence of God
was everywhere, and was able to protect me, I stepped forward
again, and by the light of the firebrand, holding it up a little
over my head, I saw lying on the ground a monstrous, frightful old
he-goat, just making his will, as we say, and gasping for life,
and, dying, indeed, of mere old age. I stirred him a little to see
if I could get him out, and he essayed to get up, but was not able
to raise himself; and I thought with myself he might even lie there
- for if he had frightened me, so he would certainly fright any of
the savages, if any of them should be so hardy as to come in there
while he had any life in him.
I was now recovered from my surprise, and began to look round me,
when I found the cave was but very small - that is to say, it might
be about twelve feet over, but in no manner of shape, neither round
nor square, no hands having ever been employed in making it but
those of mere Nature. I observed also that there was a place at
the farther side of it that went in further, but was so low that it
required me to creep upon my hands and knees to go into it, and
whither it went I knew not; so, having no candle, I gave it over
for that time, but resolved to go again the next day provided with
candles and a tinder-box, which I had made of the lock of one of
the muskets, with some wildfire in the pan.
Accordingly, the next day I came provided with six large candles of
my own making (for I made very good candles now of goat's tallow,
but was hard set for candle-wick, using sometimes rags or rope-
yarn, and sometimes the dried rind of a weed like nettles); and
going into this low place I was obliged to creep upon all-fours as
I have said, almost ten yards - which, by the way, I thought was a
venture bold enough, considering that I knew not how far it might
go, nor what was beyond it. When I had got through the strait, I
found the roof rose higher up, I believe near twenty feet; but
never was such a glorious sight seen in the island, I daresay, as
it was to look round the sides and roof of this vault or cave - the
wall reflected a hundred thousand lights to me from my two candles.
What it was in the rock - whether diamonds or any other precious
stones, or gold which I rather supposed it to be - I knew not. The
place I was in was a most delightful cavity, or grotto, though
perfectly dark; the floor was dry and level, and had a sort of a
small loose gravel upon it, so that there was no nauseous or
venomous creature to be seen, neither was there any damp or wet on
the sides or roof. The only difficulty in it was the entrance -
which, however, as it was a place of security, and such a retreat
as I wanted; I thought was a convenience; so that I was really
rejoiced at the discovery, and resolved, without any delay, to
bring some of those things which I was most anxious about to this
place: particularly, I resolved to bring hither my magazine of
powder, and all my spare arms - viz. two fowling-pieces - for I had
three in all - and three muskets - for of them I had eight in all;
so I kept in my castle only five, which stood ready mounted like
pieces of cannon on my outmost fence, and were ready also to take
out upon any expedition. Upon this occasion of removing my
ammunition I happened to open the barrel of powder which I took up
out of the sea, and which had been wet, and I found that the water
had penetrated about three or four inches into the powder on every
side, which caking and growing hard, had preserved the inside like
a kernel in the shell, so that I had near sixty pounds of very good
powder in the centre of the cask. This was a very agreeable
discovery to me at that time; so I carried all away thither, never
keeping above two or three pounds of powder with me in my castle,
for fear of a surprise of any kind; I also carried thither all the
lead I had left for bullets.
I fancied myself now like one of the ancient giants who were said
to live in caves and holes in the rocks, where none could come at
them; for I persuaded myself, while I was here, that if five
hundred savages were to hunt me, they could never find me out - or
if they did, they would not venture to attack me here. The old
goat whom I found expiring died in the mouth of the cave the next
day after I made this discovery; and I found it much easier to dig
a great hole there, and throw him in and cover him with earth, than
to drag him out; so I interred him there, to prevent offence to my
nose.
CHAPTER XIII - WRECK OF A SPANISH SHIP
I WAS now in the twenty-third year of my residence in this island,
and was so naturalised to the place and the manner of living, that,
could I but have enjoyed the certainty that no savages would come
to the place to disturb me, I could have been content to have
capitulated for spending the rest of my time there, even to the
last moment, till I had laid me down and died, like the old goat in
the cave. I had also arrived to some little diversions and
amusements, which made the time pass a great deal more pleasantly
with me than it did before - first, I had taught my Poll, as I
noted before, to speak; and he did it so familiarly, and talked so
articulately and plain, that it was very pleasant to me; and he
lived with me no less than six-and-twenty years. How long he might
have lived afterwards I know not, though I know they have a notion
in the Brazils that they live a hundred years. My dog was a
pleasant and loving companion to me for no less than sixteen years
of my time, and then died of mere old age. As for my cats, they
multiplied, as I have observed, to that degree that I was obliged
to shoot several of them at first, to keep them from devouring me
and all I had; but at length, when the two old ones I brought with
me were gone, and after some time continually driving them from me,
and letting them have no provision with me, they all ran wild into
the woods, except two or three favourites, which I kept tame, and
whose young, when they had any, I always drowned; and these were
part of my family. Besides these I always kept two or three
household kids about me, whom I taught to feed out of my hand; and
I had two more parrots, which talked pretty well, and would all
call "Robin Crusoe," but none like my first; nor, indeed,
did I
take the pains with any of them that I had done with him. I had
also several tame sea-fowls, whose name I knew not, that I caught
upon the shore, and cut their wings; and the little stakes which I
had planted before my castle-wall being now grown up to a good
thick grove, these fowls all lived among these low trees, and bred
there, which was very agreeable to me; so that, as I said above, I
began to he very well contented with the life I led, if I could
have been secured from the dread of the savages. But it was
otherwise directed; and it may not be amiss for all people who
shall meet with my story to make this just observation from it: How
frequently, in the course of our lives, the evil which in itself we
seek most to shun, and which, when we are fallen into, is the most
dreadful to us, is oftentimes the very means or door of our
deliverance, by which alone we can be raised again from the
affliction we are fallen into. I could give many examples of this
in the course of my unaccountable life; but in nothing was it more
particularly remarkable than in the circumstances of my last years
of solitary residence in this island.
It was now the month of December, as I said above, in my twenty-
third year; and this, being the southern solstice (for winter I
cannot call it), was the particular time of my harvest, and
required me to be pretty much abroad in the fields, when, going out
early in the morning, even before it was thorough daylight, I was
surprised with seeing a light of some fire upon the shore, at a
distance from me of about two miles, toward that part of the island
where I had observed some savages had been, as before, and not on
the other side; but, to my great affliction, it was on my side of
the island.
I was indeed terribly surprised at the sight, and stopped short
within my grove, not daring to go out, lest I might be surprised;
and yet I had no more peace within, from the apprehensions I had
that if these savages, in rambling over the island, should find my
corn standing or cut, or any of my works or improvements, they
would immediately conclude that there were people in the place, and
would then never rest till they had found me out. In this
extremity I went back directly to my castle, pulled up the ladder
after me, and made all things without look as wild and natural as I
could.
Then I prepared myself within, putting myself in a posture of
defence. I loaded all my cannon, as I called them - that is to
say, my muskets, which were mounted upon my new fortification - and
all my pistols, and resolved to defend myself to the last gasp -
not forgetting seriously to commend myself to the Divine
protection, and earnestly to pray to God to deliver me out of the
hands of the barbarians. I continued in this posture about two
hours, and began to be impatient for intelligence abroad, for I had
no spies to send out. After sitting a while longer, and musing
what I should do in this case, I was not able to bear sitting in
ignorance longer; so setting up my ladder to the side of the hill,
where there was a flat place, as I observed before, and then
pulling the ladder after me, I set it up again and mounted the top
of the hill, and pulling out my perspective glass, which I had
taken on purpose, I laid me down flat on my belly on the ground,
and began to look for the place. I presently found there were no
less than nine naked savages sitting round a small fire they had
made, not to warm them, for they had no need of that, the weather
being extremely hot, but, as I supposed, to dress some of their
barbarous diet of human flesh which they had brought with them,
whether alive or dead I could not tell.
They had two canoes with them, which they had hauled up upon the
shore; and as it was then ebb of tide, they seemed to me to wait
for the return of the flood to go away again. It is not easy to
imagine what confusion this sight put me into, especially seeing
them come on my side of the island, and so near to me; but when I
considered their coming must be always with the current of the ebb,
I began afterwards to be more sedate in my mind, being satisfied
that I might go abroad with safety all the time of the flood of
tide, if they were not on shore before; and having made this
observation, I went abroad about my harvest work with the more
composure.
As I expected, so it proved; for as soon as the tide made to the
westward I saw them all take boat and row (or paddle as we call it)
away. I should have observed, that for an hour or more before they
went off they were dancing, and I could easily discern their
postures and gestures by my glass. I could not perceive, by my
nicest observation, but that they were stark naked, and had not the
least covering upon them; but whether they were men or women I
could not distinguish.
As soon as I saw them shipped and gone, I took two guns upon my
shoulders, and two pistols in my girdle, and my great sword by my
side without a scabbard, and with all the speed I was able to make
went away to the hill where I had discovered the first appearance
of all; and as soon as I get thither, which was not in less than
two hours (for I could not go quickly, being so loaded with arms as
I was), I perceived there had been three canoes more of the savages
at that place; and looking out farther, I saw they were all at sea
together, making over for the main. This was a dreadful sight to
me, especially as, going down to the shore, I could see the marks
of horror which the dismal work they had been about had left behind
it - viz. the blood, the bones, and part of the flesh of human
bodies eaten and devoured by those wretches with merriment and
sport. I was so filled with indignation at the sight, that I now
began to premeditate the destruction of the next that I saw there,
let them be whom or how many soever. It seemed evident to me that
the visits which they made thus to this island were not very
frequent, for it was above fifteen months before any more of them
came on shore there again - that is to say, I neither saw them nor
any footsteps or signals of them in all that time; for as to the
rainy seasons, then they are sure not to come abroad, at least not
so far. Yet all this while I lived uncomfortably, by reason of the
constant apprehensions of their coming upon me by surprise: from
whence I observe, that the expectation of evil is more bitter than
the suffering, especially if there is no room to shake off that
expectation or those apprehensions.
During all this time I was in a murdering humour, and spent most of
my hours, which should have been better employed, in contriving how
to circumvent and fall upon them the very next time I should see
them - especially if they should be divided, as they were the last
time, into two parties; nor did I consider at all that if I killed
one party - suppose ten or a dozen - I was still the next day, or
week, or month, to kill another, and so another, even AD INFINITUM,
till I should be, at length, no less a murderer than they were in
being man-eaters - and perhaps much more so. I spent my days now
in great perplexity and anxiety of mind, expecting that I should
one day or other fall, into the hands of these merciless creatures;
and if I did at any time venture abroad, it was not without looking
around me with the greatest care and caution imaginable. And now I
found, to my great comfort, how happy it was that I had provided a
tame flock or herd of goats, for I durst not upon any account fire
my gun, especially near that side of the island where they usually
came, lest I should alarm the savages; and if they had fled from me
now, I was sure to have them come again with perhaps two or three
hundred canoes with them in a few days, and then I knew what to
expect. However, I wore out a year and three months more before I
ever saw any more of the savages, and then I found them again, as I
shall soon observe. It is true they might have been there once or
twice; but either they made no stay, or at least I did not see
them; but in the month of May, as near as I could calculate, and in
my four-and-twentieth year, I had a very strange encounter with
them; of which in its place.
The perturbation of my mind during this fifteen or sixteen months'
interval was very great; I slept unquietly, dreamed always
frightful dreams, and often started out of my sleep in the night.
In the day great troubles overwhelmed my mind; and in the night I
dreamed often of killing the savages and of the reasons why I might
justify doing it.
But to waive all this for a while. It was in the middle of May, on
the sixteenth day, I think, as well as my poor wooden calendar
would reckon, for I marked all upon the post still; I say, it was
on the sixteenth of May that it blew a very great storm of wind all
day, with a great deal of lightning and thunder, and; a very foul
night it was after it. I knew not what was the particular occasion
of it, but as I was reading in the Bible, and taken up with very
serious thoughts about my present condition, I was surprised with
the noise of a gun, as I thought, fired at sea. This was, to be
sure, a surprise quite of a different nature from any I had met
with before; for the notions this put into my thoughts were quite
of another kind. I started up in the greatest haste imaginable;
and, in a trice, clapped my ladder to the middle place of the rock,
and pulled it after me; and mounting it the second time, got to the
top of the hill the very moment that a flash of fire bid me listen
for a second gun, which, accordingly, in about half a minute I
heard; and by the sound, knew that it was from that part of the sea
where I was driven down the current in my boat. I immediately
considered that this must be some ship in distress, and that they
had some comrade, or some other ship in company, and fired these
for signals of distress, and to obtain help. I had the presence of
mind at that minute to think, that though I could not help them, it
might be that they might help me; so I brought together all the dry
wood I could get at hand, and making a good handsome pile, I set it
on fire upon the hill. The wood was dry, and blazed freely; and,
though the wind blew very hard, yet it burned fairly out; so that I
was certain, if there was any such thing as a ship, they must needs
see it. And no doubt they did; for as soon as ever my fire blazed
up, I heard another gun, and after that several others, all from
the same quarter. I plied my fire all night long, till daybreak:
and when it was broad day, and the air cleared up, I saw something
at a great distance at sea, full east of the island, whether a sail
or a hull I could not distinguish - no, not with my glass: the
distance was so great, and the weather still something hazy also;
at least, it was so out at sea.
I looked frequently at it all that day, and soon perceived that it
did not move; so I presently concluded that it was a ship at
anchor; and being eager, you may be sure, to be satisfied, I took
my gun in my hand, and ran towards the south side of the island to
the rocks where I had formerly been carried away by the current;
and getting up there, the weather by this time being perfectly
clear, I could plainly see, to my great sorrow, the wreck of a
ship, cast away in the night upon those concealed rocks which I
found when I was out in my boat; and which rocks, as they checked
the violence of the stream, and made a kind of counter-stream, or
eddy, were the occasion of my recovering from the most desperate,
hopeless condition that ever I had been in in all my life. Thus,
what is one man's safety is another man's destruction; for it seems
these men, whoever they were, being out of their knowledge, and the
rocks being wholly under water, had been driven upon them in the
night, the wind blowing hard at ENE. Had they seen the island, as
I must necessarily suppose they did not, they must, as I thought,
have endeavoured to have saved themselves on shore by the help of
their boat; but their firing off guns for help, especially when
they saw, as I imagined, my fire, filled me with many thoughts.
First, I imagined that upon seeing my light they might have put
themselves into their boat, and endeavoured to make the shore: but
that the sea running very high, they might have been cast away.
Other times I imagined that they might have lost their boat before,
as might be the case many ways; particularly by the breaking of the
sea upon their ship, which many times obliged men to stave, or take
in pieces, their boat, and sometimes to throw it overboard with
their own hands. Other times I imagined they had some other ship
or ships in company, who, upon the signals of distress they made,
had taken them up, and carried them off. Other times I fancied
they were all gone off to sea in their boat, and being hurried away
by the current that I had been formerly in, were carried out into
the great ocean, where there was nothing but misery and perishing:
and that, perhaps, they might by this time think of starving, and
of being in a condition to eat one another.
As all these were but conjectures at best, so, in the condition I
was in, I could do no more than look on upon the misery of the poor
men, and pity them; which had still this good effect upon my side,
that it gave me more and more cause to give thanks to God, who had
so happily and comfortably provided for me in my desolate
condition; and that of two ships' companies, who were now cast away
upon this part of the world, not one life should be spared but
mine. I learned here again to observe, that it is very rare that
the providence of God casts us into any condition so low, or any
misery so great, but we may see something or other to be thankful
for, and may see others in worse circumstances than our own. Such
certainly was the case of these men, of whom I could not so much as
see room to suppose any were saved; nothing could make it rational
so much as to wish or expect that they did not all perish there,
except the possibility only of their being taken up by another ship
in company; and this was but mere possibility indeed, for I saw not
the least sign or appearance of any such thing. I cannot explain,
by any possible energy of words, what a strange longing I felt in
my soul upon this sight, breaking out sometimes thus: "Oh that
there had been but one or two, nay, or but one soul saved out of
this ship, to have escaped to me, that I might but have had one
companion, one fellow-creature, to have spoken to me and to have
conversed with!" In all the time of my solitary life I never felt
so earnest, so strong a desire after the society of my fellow-
creatures, or so deep a regret at the want of it.
There are some secret springs in the affections which, when they
are set a-going by some object in view, or, though not in view, yet
rendered present to the mind by the power of imagination, that
motion carries out the soul, by its impetuosity, to such violent,
eager embracings of the object, that the absence of it is
insupportable. Such were these earnest wishings that but one man
had been saved. I believe I repeated the words, "Oh that it had
been but one!" a thousand times; and my desires were so moved by
it, that when I spoke the words my hands would clinch together, and
my fingers would press the palms of my hands, so that if I had had
any soft thing in my hand I should have crushed it involuntarily;
and the teeth in my head would strike together, and set against one
another so strong, that for some time I could not part them again.
Let the naturalists explain these things, and the reason and manner
of them. All I can do is to describe the fact, which was even
surprising to me when I found it, though I knew not from whence it
proceeded; it was doubtless the effect of ardent wishes, and of
strong ideas formed in my mind, realising the comfort which the
conversation of one of my fellow-Christians would have been to me.
But it was not to be; either their fate or mine, or both, forbade
it; for, till the last year of my being on this island, I never
knew whether any were saved out of that ship or no; and had only
the affliction, some days after, to see the corpse of a drowned boy
come on shore at the end of the island which was next the
shipwreck. He had no clothes on but a seaman's waistcoat, a pair
of open-kneed linen drawers, and a blue linen shirt; but nothing to
direct me so much as to guess what nation he was of. He had
nothing in his pockets but two pieces of eight and a tobacco pipe -
the last was to me of ten times more value than the first.
It was now calm, and I had a great mind to venture out in my boat
to this wreck, not doubting but I might find something on board
that might be useful to me. But that did not altogether press me
so much as the possibility that there might be yet some living
creature on board, whose life I might not only save, but might, by
saving that life, comfort my own to the last degree; and this
thought clung so to my heart that I could not be quiet night or
day, but I must venture out in my boat on board this wreck; and
committing the rest to God's providence, I thought the impression
was so strong upon my mind that it could not be resisted - that it
must come from some invisible direction, and that I should be
wanting to myself if I did not go.
Under the power of this impression, I hastened back to my castle,
prepared everything for my voyage, took a quantity of bread, a
great pot of fresh water, a compass to steer by, a bottle of rum
(for I had still a great deal of that left), and a basket of
raisins; and thus, loading myself with everything necessary. I
went down to my boat, got the water out of her, got her afloat,
loaded all my cargo in her, and then went home again for more. My
second cargo was a great bag of rice, the umbrella to set up over
my head for a shade, another large pot of water, and about two
dozen of small loaves, or barley cakes, more than before, with a
bottle of goat's milk and a cheese; all which with great labour and
sweat I carried to my boat; and praying to God to direct my voyage,
I put out, and rowing or paddling the canoe along the shore, came
at last to the utmost point of the island on the north-east side.
And now I was to launch out into the ocean, and either to venture
or not to venture. I looked on the rapid currents which ran
constantly on both sides of the island at a distance, and which
were very terrible to me from the remembrance of the hazard I had
been in before, and my heart began to fail me; for I foresaw that
if I was driven into either of those currents, I should be carried
a great way out to sea, and perhaps out of my reach or sight of the
island again; and that then, as my boat was but small, if any
little gale of wind should rise, I should be inevitably lost.
These thoughts so oppressed my mind that I began to give over my
enterprise; and having hauled my boat into a little creek on the
shore, I stepped out, and sat down upon a rising bit of ground,
very pensive and anxious, between fear and desire, about my voyage;
when, as I was musing, I could perceive that the tide was turned,
and the flood come on; upon which my going was impracticable for so
many hours. Upon this, presently it occurred to me that I should
go up to the highest piece of ground I could find, and observe, if
I could, how the sets of the tide or currents lay when the flood
came in, that I might judge whether, if I was driven one way out, I
might not expect to be driven another way home, with the same
rapidity of the currents. This thought was no sooner in my head
than I cast my eye upon a little hill which sufficiently overlooked
the sea both ways, and from whence I had a clear view of the
currents or sets of the tide, and which way I was to guide myself
in my return. Here I found, that as the current of ebb set out
close by the south point of the island, so the current of the flood
set in close by the shore of the north side; and that I had nothing
to do but to keep to the north side of the island in my return, and
I should do well enough.
Encouraged by this observation, I resolved the next morning to set
out with the first of the tide; and reposing myself for the night
in my canoe, under the watch-coat I mentioned, I launched out. I
first made a little out to sea, full north, till I began to feel
the benefit of the current, which set eastward, and which carried
me at a great rate; and yet did not so hurry me as the current on
the south side had done before, so as to take from me all
government of the boat; but having a strong steerage with my
paddle, I went at a great rate directly for the wreck, and in less
than two hours I came up to it. It was a dismal sight to look at;
the ship, which by its building was Spanish, stuck fast, jammed in
between two rocks. All the stern and quarter of her were beaten to
pieces by the sea; and as her forecastle, which stuck in the rocks,
had run on with great violence, her mainmast and foremast were
brought by the board - that is to say, broken short off; but her
bowsprit was sound, and the head and bow appeared firm. When I
came close to her, a dog appeared upon her, who, seeing me coming,
yelped and cried; and as soon as I called him, jumped into the sea
to come to me. I took him into the boat, but found him almost dead
with hunger and thirst. I gave him a cake of my bread, and he
devoured it like a ravenous wolf that had been starving a fortnight
in the snow; I then gave the poor creature some fresh water, with
which, if I would have let him, he would have burst himself. After
this I went on board; but the first sight I met with was two men
drowned in the cook-room, or forecastle of the ship, with their
arms fast about one another. I concluded, as is indeed probable,
that when the ship struck, it being in a storm, the sea broke so
high and so continually over her, that the men were not able to
bear it, and were strangled with the constant rushing in of the
water, as much as if they had been under water. Besides the dog,
there was nothing left in the ship that had life; nor any goods,
that I could see, but what were spoiled by the water. There were
some casks of liquor, whether wine or brandy I knew not, which lay
lower in the hold, and which, the water being ebbed out, I could
see; but they were too big to meddle with. I saw several chests,
which I believe belonged to some of the seamen; and I got two of
them into the boat, without examining what was in them. Had the
stern of the ship been fixed, and the forepart broken off, I am
persuaded I might have made a good voyage; for by what I found in
those two chests I had room to suppose the ship had a great deal of
wealth on board; and, if I may guess from the course she steered,
she must have been bound from Buenos Ayres, or the Rio de la Plata,
in the south part of America, beyond the Brazils to the Havannah,
in the Gulf of Mexico, and so perhaps to Spain. She had, no doubt,
a great treasure in her, but of no use, at that time, to anybody;
and what became of the crew I then knew not.
I found, besides these chests, a little cask full of liquor, of
about twenty gallons, which I got into my boat with much
difficulty. There were several muskets in the cabin, and a great
powder-horn, with about four pounds of powder in it; as for the
muskets, I had no occasion for them, so I left them, but took the
powder-horn. I took a fire-shovel and tongs, which I wanted
extremely, as also two little brass kettles, a copper pot to make
chocolate, and a gridiron; and with this cargo, and the dog, I came
away, the tide beginning to make home again - and the same evening,
about an hour within night, I reached the island again, weary and
fatigued to the last degree. I reposed that night in the boat and
in the morning I resolved to harbour what I had got in my new cave,
and not carry it home to my castle. After refreshing myself, I got
all my cargo on shore, and began to examine the particulars. The
cask of liquor I found to be a kind of rum, but not such as we had
at the Brazils; and, in a word, not at all good; but when I came to
open the chests, I found several things of great use to me - for
example, I found in one a fine case of bottles, of an extraordinary
kind, and filled with cordial waters, fine and very good; the
bottles held about three pints each, and were tipped with silver.
I found two pots of very good succades, or sweetmeats, so fastened
also on the top that the salt-water had not hurt them; and two more
of the same, which the water had spoiled. I found some very good
shirts, which were very welcome to me; and about a dozen and a half
of white linen handkerchiefs and coloured neckcloths; the former
were also very welcome, being exceedingly refreshing to wipe my
face in a hot day. Besides this, when I came to the till in the
chest, I found there three great bags of pieces of eight, which
held about eleven hundred pieces in all; and in one of them,
wrapped up in a paper, six doubloons of gold, and some small bars
or wedges of gold; I suppose they might all weigh near a pound. In
the other chest were some clothes, but of little value; but, by the
circumstances, it must have belonged to the gunner's mate; though
there was no powder in it, except two pounds of fine glazed powder,
in three flasks, kept, I suppose, for charging their fowling-pieces
on occasion. Upon the whole, I got very little by this voyage that
was of any use to me; for, as to the money, I had no manner of
occasion for it; it was to me as the dirt under my feet, and I
would have given it all for three or four pair of English shoes and
stockings, which were things I greatly wanted, but had had none on
my feet for many years. I had, indeed, got two pair of shoes now,
which I took off the feet of two drowned men whom I saw in the
wreck, and I found two pair more in one of the chests, which were
very welcome to me; but they were not like our English shoes,
either for ease or service, being rather what we call pumps than
shoes. I found in this seaman's chest about fifty pieces of eight,
in rials, but no gold: I supposed this belonged to a poorer man
than the other, which seemed to belong to some officer. Well,
however, I lugged this money home to my cave, and laid it up, as I
had done that before which I had brought from our own ship; but it
was a great pity, as I said, that the other part of this ship had
not come to my share: for I am satisfied I might have loaded my
canoe several times over with money; and, thought I, if I ever
escape to England, it might lie here safe enough till I come again
and fetch it.
CHAPTER XIV - A DREAM REALISED
HAVING now brought all my things on shore and secured them, I went
back to my boat, and rowed or paddled her along the shore to her
old harbour, where I laid her up, and made the best of my way to my
old habitation, where I found everything safe and quiet. I began
now to repose myself, live after my old fashion, and take care of
my family affairs; and for a while I lived easy enough, only that I
was more vigilant than I used to be, looked out oftener, and did
not go abroad so much; and if at any time I did stir with any
freedom, it was always to the east part of the island, where I was
pretty well satisfied the savages never came, and where I could go
without so many precautions, and such a load of arms and ammunition
as I always carried with me if I went the other way. I lived in
this condition near two years more; but my unlucky head, that was
always to let me know it was born to make my body miserable, was
all these two years filled with projects and designs how, if it
were possible, I might get away from this island: for sometimes I
was for making another voyage to the wreck, though my reason told
me that there was nothing left there worth the hazard of my voyage;
sometimes for a ramble one way, sometimes another - and I believe
verily, if I had had the boat that I went from Sallee in, I should
have ventured to sea, bound anywhere, I knew not whither. I have
been, in all my circumstances, a memento to those who are touched
with the general plague of mankind, whence, for aught I know, one
half of their miseries flow: I mean that of not being satisfied
with the station wherein God and Nature hath placed them - for, not
to look back upon my primitive condition, and the excellent advice
of my father, the opposition to which was, as I may call it, my
ORIGINAL SIN, my subsequent mistakes of the same kind had been the
means of my coming into this miserable condition; for had that
Providence which so happily seated me at the Brazils as a planter
blessed me with confined desires, and I could have been contented
to have gone on gradually, I might have been by this time - I mean
in the time of my being in this island - one of the most
considerable planters in the Brazils - nay, I am persuaded, that by
the improvements I had made in that little time I lived there, and
the increase I should probably have made if I had remained, I might
have been worth a hundred thousand moidores - and what business had
I to leave a settled fortune, a well-stocked plantation, improving
and increasing, to turn supercargo to Guinea to fetch negroes, when
patience and time would have so increased our stock at home, that
we could have bought them at our own door from those whose business
it was to fetch them? and though it had cost us something more, yet
the difference of that price was by no means worth saving at so
great a hazard. But as this is usually the fate of young heads, so
reflection upon the folly of it is as commonly the exercise of more
years, or of the dear-bought experience of time - so it was with me
now; and yet so deep had the mistake taken root in my temper, that
I could not satisfy myself in my station, but was continually
poring upon the means and possibility of my escape from this place;
and that I may, with greater pleasure to the reader, bring on the
remaining part of my story, it may not be improper to give some
account of my first conceptions on the subject of this foolish
scheme for my escape, and how, and upon what foundation, I acted.
I am now to be supposed retired into my castle, after my late
voyage to the wreck, my frigate laid up and secured under water, as
usual, and my condition restored to what it was before: I had more
wealth, indeed, than I had before, but was not at all the richer;
for I had no more use for it than the Indians of Peru had before
the Spaniards came there.
It was one of the nights in the rainy season in March, the four-
and-twentieth year of my first setting foot in this island of
solitude, I was lying in my bed or hammock, awake, very well in
health, had no pain, no distemper, no uneasiness of body, nor any
uneasiness of mind more than ordinary, but could by no means close
my eyes, that is, so as to sleep; no, not a wink all night long,
otherwise than as follows: It is impossible to set down the
innumerable crowd of thoughts that whirled through that great
thoroughfare of the brain, the memory, in this night's time. I ran
over the whole history of my life in miniature, or by abridgment,
as I may call it, to my coming to this island, and also of that
part of my life since I came to this island. In my reflections
upon the state of my case since I came on shore on this island, I
was comparing the happy posture of my affairs in the first years of
my habitation here, with the life of anxiety, fear, and care which
I had lived in ever since I had seen the print of a foot in the
sand. Not that I did not believe the savages had frequented the
island even all the while, and might have been several hundreds of
them at times on shore there; but I had never known it, and was
incapable of any apprehensions about it; my satisfaction was
perfect, though my danger was the same, and I was as happy in not
knowing my danger as if I had never really been exposed to it.
This furnished my thoughts with many very profitable reflections,
and particularly this one: How infinitely good that Providence is,
which has provided, in its government of mankind, such narrow
bounds to his sight and knowledge of things; and though he walks in
the midst of so many thousand dangers, the sight of which, if
discovered to him, would distract his mind and sink his spirits, he
is kept serene and calm, by having the events of things hid from
his eyes, and knowing nothing of the dangers which surround him.
After these thoughts had for some time entertained me, I came to
reflect seriously upon the real danger I had been in for so many
years in this very island, and how I had walked about in the
greatest security, and with all possible tranquillity, even when
perhaps nothing but the brow of a hill, a great tree, or the casual
approach of night, had been between me and the worst kind of
destruction - viz. that of falling into the hands of cannibals and
savages, who would have seized on me with the same view as I would
on a goat or turtle; and have thought it no more crime to kill and
devour me than I did of a pigeon or a curlew. I would unjustly
slander myself if I should say I was not sincerely thankful to my
great Preserver, to whose singular protection I acknowledged, with
great humanity, all these unknown deliverances were due, and
without which I must inevitably have fallen into their merciless
hands.
When these thoughts were over, my head was for some time taken up
in considering the nature of these wretched creatures, I mean the
savages, and how it came to pass in the world that the wise
Governor of all things should give up any of His creatures to such
inhumanity - nay, to something so much below even brutality itself
- as to devour its own kind: but as this ended in some (at that
time) fruitless speculations, it occurred to me to inquire what
part of the world these wretches lived in? how far off the coast
was from whence they came? what they ventured over so far from home
for? what kind of boats they had? and why I might not order myself
and my business so that I might be able to go over thither, as they
were to come to me?
I never so much as troubled myself to consider what I should do
with myself when I went thither; what would become of me if I fell
into the hands of these savages; or how I should escape them if
they attacked me; no, nor so much as how it was possible for me to
reach the coast, and not to be attacked by some or other of them,
without any possibility of delivering myself: and if I should not
fall into their hands, what I should do for provision, or whither I
should bend my course: none of these thoughts, I say, so much as
came in my way; but my mind was wholly bent upon the notion of my
passing over in my boat to the mainland. I looked upon my present
condition as the most miserable that could possibly be; that I was
not able to throw myself into anything but death, that could be
called worse; and if I reached the shore of the main I might
perhaps meet with relief, or I might coast along, as I did on the
African shore, till I came to some inhabited country, and where I
might find some relief; and after all, perhaps I might fall in with
some Christian ship that might take me in: and if the worst came to
the worst, I could but die, which would put an end to all these
miseries at once. Pray note, all this was the fruit of a disturbed
mind, an impatient temper, made desperate, as it were, by the long
continuance of my troubles, and the disappointments I had met in
the wreck I had been on board of, and where I had been so near
obtaining what I so earnestly longed for - somebody to speak to,
and to learn some knowledge from them of the place where I was, and
of the probable means of my deliverance. I was agitated wholly by
these thoughts; all my calm of mind, in my resignation to
Providence, and waiting the issue of the dispositions of Heaven,
seemed to be suspended; and I had as it were no power to turn my
thoughts to anything but to the project of a voyage to the main,
which came upon me with such force, and such an impetuosity of
desire, that it was not to be resisted.
When this had agitated my thoughts for two hours or more, with such
violence that it set my very blood into a ferment, and my pulse
beat as if I had been in a fever, merely with the extraordinary
fervour of my mind about it, Nature - as if I had been fatigued and
exhausted with the very thoughts of it - threw me into a sound
sleep. One would have thought I should have dreamed of it, but I
did not, nor of anything relating to it, but I dreamed that as I
was going out in the morning as usual from my castle, I saw upon
the shore two canoes and eleven savages coming to land, and that
they brought with them another savage whom they were going to kill
in order to eat him; when, on a sudden, the savage that they were
going to kill jumped away, and ran for his life; and I thought in
my sleep that he came running into my little thick grove before my
fortification, to hide himself; and that I seeing him alone, and
not perceiving that the others sought him that way, showed myself
to him, and smiling upon him, encouraged him: that he kneeled down
to me, seeming to pray me to assist him; upon which I showed him my
ladder, made him go up, and carried him into my cave, and he became
my servant; and that as soon as I had got this man, I said to
myself, "Now I may certainly venture to the mainland, for this
fellow will serve me as a pilot, and will tell me what to do, and
whither to go for provisions, and whither not to go for fear of
being devoured; what places to venture into, and what to shun." I
waked with this thought; and was under such inexpressible
impressions of joy at the prospect of my escape in my dream, that
the disappointments which I felt upon coming to myself, and finding
that it was no more than a dream, were equally extravagant the
other way, and threw me into a very great dejection of spirits.
Upon this, however, I made this conclusion: that my only way to go
about to attempt an escape was, to endeavour to get a savage into
my possession: and, if possible, it should be one of their
prisoners, whom they had condemned to be eaten, and should bring
hither to kill. But these thoughts still were attended with this
difficulty: that it was impossible to effect this without attacking
a whole caravan of them, and killing them all; and this was not
only a very desperate attempt, and might miscarry, but, on the
other hand, I had greatly scrupled the lawfulness of it to myself;
and my heart trembled at the thoughts of shedding so much blood,
though it was for my deliverance. I need not repeat the arguments
which occurred to me against this, they being the same mentioned
before; but though I had other reasons to offer now - viz. that
those men were enemies to my life, and would devour me if they
could; that it was self-preservation, in the highest degree, to
deliver myself from this death of a life, and was acting in my own
defence as much as if they were actually assaulting me, and the
like; I say though these things argued for it, yet the thoughts of
shedding human blood for my deliverance were very terrible to me,
and such as I could by no means reconcile myself to for a great
while. However, at last, after many secret disputes with myself,
and after great perplexities about it (for all these arguments, one
way and another, struggled in my head a long time), the eager
prevailing desire of deliverance at length mastered all the rest;
and I resolved, if possible, to get one of these savages into my
hands, cost what it would. My next thing was to contrive how to do
it, and this, indeed, was very difficult to resolve on; but as I
could pitch upon no probable means for it, so I resolved to put
myself upon the watch, to see them when they came on shore, and
leave the rest to the event; taking such measures as the
opportunity should present, let what would be.
With these resolutions in my thoughts, I set myself upon the scout
as often as possible, and indeed so often that I was heartily tired
of it; for it was above a year and a half that I waited; and for
great part of that time went out to the west end, and to the south-
west corner of the island almost every day, to look for canoes, but
none appeared. This was very discouraging, and began to trouble me
much, though I cannot say that it did in this case (as it had done
some time before) wear off the edge of my desire to the thing; but
the longer it seemed to be delayed, the more eager I was for it: in
a word, I was not at first so careful to shun the sight of these
savages, and avoid being seen by them, as I was now eager to be
upon them. Besides, I fancied myself able to manage one, nay, two
or three savages, if I had them, so as to make them entirely slaves
to me, to do whatever I should direct them, and to prevent their
being able at any time to do me any hurt. It was a great while
that I pleased myself with this affair; but nothing still presented
itself; all my fancies and schemes came to nothing, for no savages
came near me for a great while.
About a year and a half after I entertained these notions (and by
long musing had, as it were, resolved them all into nothing, for
want of an occasion to put them into execution), I was surprised
one morning by seeing no less than five canoes all on shore
together on my side the island, and the people who belonged to them
all landed and out of my sight. The number of them broke all my
measures; for seeing so many, and knowing that they always came
four or six, or sometimes more in a boat, I could not tell what to
think of it, or how to take my measures to attack twenty or thirty
men single-handed; so lay still in my castle, perplexed and
discomforted. However, I put myself into the same position for an
attack that I had formerly provided, and was just ready for action,
if anything had presented. Having waited a good while, listening
to hear if they made any noise, at length, being very impatient, I
set my guns at the foot of my ladder, and .clambered up to the top
of the hill, by my two stages, as usual; standing so, however, that
my head did not appear above the hill, so that they could not
perceive me by any means. Here I observed, by the help of my
perspective glass, that they were no less than thirty in number;
that they had a fire kindled, and that they had meat dressed. How
they had cooked it I knew not, or what it was; but they were all
dancing, in I know not how many barbarous gestures and figures,
their own way, round the fire.
While I was thus looking on them, I perceived, by my perspective,
two miserable wretches dragged from the boats, where, it seems,
they were laid by, and were now brought out for the slaughter. I
perceived one of them immediately fall; being knocked down, I
suppose, with a club or wooden sword, for that was their way; and
two or three others were at work immediately, cutting him open for
their cookery, while the other victim was left standing by himself,
till they should be ready for him. In that very moment this poor
wretch, seeing himself a little at liberty and unbound, Nature
inspired him with hopes of life, and he started away from them, and
ran with incredible swiftness along the sands, directly towards me;
I mean towards that part of the coast where my habitation was. I
was dreadfully frightened, I must acknowledge, when I perceived him
run my way; and especially when, as I thought, I saw him pursued by
the whole body: and now I expected that part of my dream was coming
to pass, and that he would certainly take shelter in my grove; but
I could not depend, by any means, upon my dream, that the other
savages would not pursue him thither and find him there. However,
I kept my station, and my spirits began to recover when I found
that there was not above three men that followed him; and still
more was I encouraged, when I found that he outstripped them
exceedingly in running, and gained ground on them; so that, if he
could but hold out for half-an-hour, I saw easily he would fairly
get away from them all.
There was between them and my castle the creek, which I mentioned
often in the first part of my story, where I landed my cargoes out
of the ship; and this I saw plainly he must necessarily swim over,
or the poor wretch would be taken there; but when the savage
escaping came thither, he made nothing of it, though the tide was
then up; but plunging in, swam through in about thirty strokes, or
thereabouts, landed, and ran with exceeding strength and swiftness.
When the three persons came to the creek, I found that two of them
could swim, but the third could not, and that, standing on the
other side, he looked at the others, but went no farther, and soon
after went softly back again; which, as it happened, was very well
for him in the end. I observed that the two who swam were yet more
than twice as strong swimming over the creek as the fellow was that
fled from them. It came very warmly upon my thoughts, and indeed
irresistibly, that now was the time to get me a servant, and,
perhaps, a companion or assistant; and that I was plainly called by
Providence to save this poor creature's life. I immediately ran
down the ladders with all possible expedition, fetched my two guns,
for they were both at the foot of the ladders, as I observed
before, and getting up again with the same haste to the top of the
hill, I crossed towards the sea; and having a very short cut, and
all down hill, placed myself in the way between the pursuers and
the pursued, hallowing aloud to him that fled, who, looking back,
was at first perhaps as much frightened at me as at them; but I
beckoned with my hand to him to come back; and, in the meantime, I
slowly advanced towards the two that followed; then rushing at once
upon the foremost, I knocked him down with the stock of my piece.
I was loath to fire, because I would not have the rest hear;
though, at that distance, it would not have been easily heard, and
being out of sight of the smoke, too, they would not have known
what to make of it. Having knocked this fellow down, the other who
pursued him stopped, as if he had been frightened, and I advanced
towards him: but as I came nearer, I perceived presently he had a
bow and arrow, and was fitting it to shoot at me: so I was then
obliged to shoot at him first, which I did, and killed him at the
first shot. The poor savage who fled, but had stopped, though he
saw both his enemies fallen and killed, as he thought, yet was so
frightened with the fire and noise of my piece that he stood stock
still, and neither came forward nor went backward, though he seemed
rather inclined still to fly than to come on. I hallooed again to
him, and made signs to come forward, which he easily understood,
and came a little way; then stopped again, and then a little
farther, and stopped again; and I could then perceive that he stood
trembling, as if he had been taken prisoner, and had just been to
be killed, as his two enemies were. I beckoned to him again to
come to me, and gave him all the signs of encouragement that I
could think of; and he came nearer and nearer, kneeling down every
ten or twelve steps, in toke